Contributed By Amanda Jayne Lee
What was supposed to be a wet and wild adventure turned out to be a dull and dry drag through an aging franchise.
This fourth instalment of the widely popular Pirates series follows Johnny Depp’s iconic portrayal of the kooky but brilliant Captain Jack Sparrow on his journey to the Fountain of Youth.
After a sloppy introduction, Captain Sparrow is thrown onto Blackbeard’s (Ian McShane) ship with Jack’s long-lost love Angelica (Penelope Cruz) and chased by a bunch of Spaniards and his old enemy Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush). All are gunning for the Fountain of Youth, and on the way they encounter mysticism, a bunch of mermaids and zombies.
Sounds exciting, right? The film comes off long-winded even as it seems hastily put together. The pirates are mostly trudging through the jungles (aren’t they supposed to be on ships?) and getting lost in caves. Sparrow’s antics, which I once considered very amusing have become annoying and frankly, serve no purpose in advancing the narrative.
The love story between Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan (Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, who are sorely missed) that played out in the first three installments weighed heavy on my mind as I watched the desperate attempts at romance between Sparrow and Angelica. A second romance, which ran as more of a sub-plot, between a captured clergyman and a mermaid was pathetic, with the clergyman winning the title of the most useless hero of all time.
Captain Sparrow and gang, you have overstayed your welcome. That ship has sailed, mateys. You guys need to get off this sinking ship and make sure it never returns to the big screen.