Contributed By Larry Keefauver
We want to have a child and yet we are experiencing difficulty conceiving. We are trying everything but nothing is working and we are becoming frustrated, disappointed and we even say angry things to each other. How do we handle this? ~ A frustrated couple
Continue praying, follow the best medical advice you have and remember that your spouse is not the enemy. This is simple to say and hard to do. Let’s explore a few simple possibilities that will help.
I counseled and encouraged a couple for over 10 years. They had tried everything; in fact, they tried too hard. Stress, anxiety and anger can affect the ovulation cycle adversely, advised one wise physician. He had observed that when couples were more relaxed through meditation, resting, having fun, laughter and not “trying so hard,” that they were more likely to conceive. It’s true. Relax!
Rest and eat right
Also, the pace and stress of work may inhibit conception. We rush through our days and work too much and sleep too little. Research in the health sciences have demonstrated that we need seven to eight hours of rest a day for our bodies and brains to properly recharge and renew. Along with that, we must reduce excessive caffeine, too much sugar, fast food (eat nutritiously) and too much meat or dairy. Learn what is nutritious for you and be disciplined.
Reflect and meditate
Turn your negative thoughts and words into positive attitudes and affirmations. Set aside a time each day to spend quality time with one another. Share all that you are thankful to God for in your life and in one another. Do a one minute affirmation for one another. Take one minute to tell your mate all the things you appreciate about them. Express love and affirm them. Do this daily.
Spend at least 15 minutes a day talking with one another in positive ways. Forgive one another for any negative words or actions. Meditate on scriptures and pray for one another. This quality time will replace the negative thoughts and disappointments.
Both Elizabeth and Hannah in Scriptures cried out to God in prayer and He answered them. The keys were prayer and patience. Remember that timing is in God’s hands. Yes, a married couple makes a baby but they cannot make conception happen when they want it. Timing is in God’s hands. Patience is a decision. Impatience can lead to frustration, anger, blame and pain. Instead of praying, “God, I want, I want, I want …” begin praying, “God, I want what You want.”
Consider your possibilities
Remember that adoption is a wonderful option for children as well. Scripture speaks positively about adoption. My wife was adopted. Her father told her, “Some children are unwanted when they are conceived … a surprise or a mistake. But your mother and I choose you. You are special and chosen!” Adoption is a real possibility. Become a blessing in an orphan’s life. God adopted you into His family. You can adopt and transform not just your child’s life but create a legacy of blessings. The Psalms say that God sets the solitary in families. One way that happens is through adoption.
Remember that God is at work in all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. Love your spouse and the Lord. Let go of your anger, frustration, worry, blame or disappointment. Take the steps I have suggested and watch hope, peace and contentment come into your life!