Physical, communication and spiritual attraction are the essential ingredients for a long-lasting relationship.
It was one elective with an overflowing crowd at the Church Growth International and Asia Conference 2010—hundreds of young adults gathered to hear Wu Yuzhuang and Audrey Ng, a married couple, share tips about finding one’s life partner.
“How do you know if a person can be your lifelong partner?” asked Wu. Beginning with the understanding that God gives each person a marriage partner to help and bless his/her walk with Him, the couple touched on three specific areas in determining compatibility—physical attraction, communication attraction and finally, spiritual attraction.
When it came to physical attraction, Wu placed a strong emphasis on being fit and healthy, and at the same time putting effort into one’s appearance in anticipation of a chance encounter with Mr or Miss Right.
Understandably, in a relationship, fatal flaws such as dating a person who is, say, addicted to alcohol, will also work against the couple in the form of internal obstacles, while compatibility time bombs such as diverse life callings that form the external obstacles will pose problems as well. Wu and Ng also highlighted other considerations such as the importance of communication. Dispelling the myth that romantic love is all that is needed to sustain a marriage, the willingness to express one’s feelings through words and gestures was underscored.
Delving deeper into matters of the heart, the couple who has been married for over 10 years shared three critical ingredients in sustaining spiritual attraction. Firstly, sharing similar beliefs is an option that cannot be compromised, as upholding Christian values forms the basis of a successful marriage in the 21st century. Secondly, the prospective partner’s commitment to the Lord in areas such as the Word, worship, finances and ministry are not to be overlooked.
Lastly, possessing a compatible calling would free the couple from future dilemmas in their individual commitments to their ordained ministries. While many women place a significant emphasis on the romantic spark of chemistry in a relationship, the absence of any one of these three ingredients would be enough to cause disintegration in a promising relationship. Succinctly, both speakers illustrated the points with their own love story that began some fifteen years ago.
Before opening up to the floor for a session of Q&A, Wu recommended the book His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr. to the receptive crowd as an additional resource to guide them in their search for the elusive one.
Said Rocel Sales, 27, a student studying in a seminary in Manila, “The topics shared were very helpful to me and the speakers were a joy to listen to.”