I would like to share my story, I don’t know if it is romantic, but I just want to write down how I feel about our relationship over the past 1 year and 2 months.

It actually begin in year 2006 when I was praying for a godly woman to enter my life, someone who is a Christian, of course, someone who would enjoy jogging with me (after we got together, we jogged less than nine times!), someone I could communicate openly with, and of course, pleasant looking, and someone able to accept me for who I am.

I told God that I would not be involved in any relationship for a year until September 2007, which was when I completed SOT2007. After graduating from SOT, I was at Suntec office one day and happened to see a girl who caught my eye, working quite intently on her mega big Mac computer. I realized later that she was a graphic designer. God has a sense of humor; I don’t consider myself the creative sort.

I found out her name and started emailing her, asking many questions about her beliefs, family, interests, hobbies and life experiences. After many emails and a telephone conversation, I confirmed that she was single and I wanted to pursue this relationship. I had to inform my ZS soon!

Our first date was during the musical, “When I Grow Up” at Victoria Theater in November 2007. It was a memorable one. I ran from River Walk to meet Sir Stamford Raffles … No, I mean this girl, at 1955hrs! I barely made it on time; I was sweating from the sprint.

It was an enjoyable musical with lots of flowers and bumblebees, a musician with a giant candy cane, a fumbling superman and skeletons dancing around.

We went for supper at Marina Square after the musical with some others. It was such a large entourage that I felt like I was in an interview! After that, I sent her home for the first time in my old beat-up Renault van.

We had a few more phone conversations and one day, I found out that her dad was hospitalized. And so, out of goodwill, I volunteered to send her to the hospital. I also decided to visit her dad together with her. I remembered in Bible School, we learnt that how a daughter treats her earthly dad is how she will relate to her heavenly Father. That day, I took my time and discreetly observed how she treated her father. Not bad, I thought, you get to learn about relationships in SOT.

After the hospital visit, we got together in late November 2007. I bought the proposal ring in February 2008 and waited for the right moment to pop the question.

I proposed to her in May 2008 after she came back from a weeklong trip to Hong Kong. I fetched her at the airport and brought her somewhere to ask the question. She said yes!

After that, I went through a bad patch in life and our wedding plans did not go on as smoothly as we wanted to. But we managed to pull through till November 2008. All this while, she stood by me, praying and believing in me, even though I lost my temper at her many times.

We were left with 18 days of planning and executing the wedding ceremony and things went on well. By the grace of God, we were happily married on 18th January 2009, in a simple and heartwarming matrimony, shared with many friends and relatives.

On Sunday 18th January 2009, I recited my wedding vows, “I, Tan Kok Siang, take you Phoebe Sung Seow Ting, to be my wedded wife …” at the beautiful premises of the Singapore Art Museum.

Today, we are working our marriage, day by day, by sharing simple chores, at our new flat. I do the laundry, she does the food, she mops the floor, and I throw away the rubbish. I learn to lift up the toilet pan and put it down after use, I also learn to communicate truthfully, how I feel.

Truly, marriage is a new phase of life, and it takes love, patience, kindness, gentleness, hard work and effort to stay in love, as we continue to court each other all over again.

This is the start of our love story.

Myself and Shufen we knew each other for 14 months already. We knew each other through “Beulah” an internet platform, where we chatted online for 2 months before we decided to meet up in February 2008.

I remember when we first met up, we chatted like we knew each other for many years already. After the first meeting, we met a couple more times. In April 2008, we decided to get together as a couple. We made a commitment we shall be the one and only one for each other.

Our respective families approved of our relationship. In Dec 2008 we had our first trip overseas as a couple , we visited Taiwan. During that trip, I proposed to her and she agreed to marry me. We want to thank God for bringing us together, teaching us and moulding us a married couple. Dear, this is my commitment to you, “I WOULD LOVE AND TAKE CARE OF YOU FOREVER.”

A romantic love tale involving an Australian couple, Valentines Day in Oregon, Dr Francis Seow Choen and his cousin, Pastor Kong Hee

Grace Gawler is know globally for her work in supportive care medicine, especially with cancer patients, however this time of the Chinese New Year she was in need of urgent surgical assistance for a problem Australian surgeons could not fix.

She was referred to expert colo-rectal surgeon, Dr Francis Seow Choen who is a cousin of Pastor Kong Hee. I accompanied Grace to Singapore and just 5 days after her successful surgery we were sitting with Dr Seow Choen and family near the front row of hall 8, enjoying an excellent New Year sermon by Pastor Kong Hee.

Later that night, over dinner I shared the extraordinary circumstances by which Grace and I met. It’s a story that shows the mysterious workings of a force bigger than ourselves and how true love was put on hold for almost 4 decades. Here is our story.

I’m an Australian and had been living in a small mountain town in Oregon, USA for many years. It was February 2007 and I had just returned from Washington, DC, where I had been part of a group convincing politicians on Capitol Hill to support the creation of a US Department of Peace—a body for resolving domestic and international conflicts via peaceful means.

When I returned to Ashland there was an email waiting which fascinated me. It was written by a Ms Grace Gawler and reads as follows… 

“Hello Pip, it is Valentines Day and I am staying in Ashland and have been here a week. I just collected a copy of the Sentient Times Magazine and found your Restorative Justice article. My, my – it is such a small world! As I was reading the article I realized who you were… my physical education teacher from Geelong High school in 1970! So I just wanted to connect and say hello. I have had a look at your website and I want to congratulate you on the much needed violence prevention work you are doing.”

Grace said my article impressed her and she asked if I might to consider planning some human growth and wellness workshops together. To be honest I did not remember her name because PE teachers taught hundreds of students each week, and it was 37 years since my short 2-year stay at Geelong High school. However when Grace sent me a senior student photo from 1970, I recognized her immediately. An outstanding student with deeply blue eyes — she emanated a clear and radiant beauty.

Due to the bizarre nature of our reconnection, a small voice inside me began to suspect something special was happening. I’d been married before but had not enjoyed relationship success, so I schooled myself to be cautious. A flurry of deepening emails led to phone calls and text messages, in which it became clear that we had more commonalities than is usual. I did what I could to curb my rising excitement. Nevertheless, within just four weeks I took a giant leap and flew to Brisbane, Australia, to begin our new life together.

Grace had also been unlucky in relationship — her 21 year marriage had ended despite years she spent helping her husband survive end-stage cancer. They had married when he had only two weeks to live but eventually they had 4 children together. They separated in 1997 and the shock caused Grace to have a routine surgery which went terribly wrong, eventually causing her to lose most of her colon. It was a recurrence of this problem that led her to Singapore, Professor Seow Choen and the wonderful City Harvest Church for Chinese New Year.

Jensen was just being a wonderful companion for Jacinda who had just recently broken up with her fiancé. He could feel her pain and anguish at arriving at an inevitable decision. She was just crushed at having to decide after all these years of suffering in a relationship which robbed her of her self esteem and worth.

Jensen passed that crossroads four years ago when he was 30 years old. In his mind, he was fully aware that the possibility of him getting married was getting more and more remote. He was used to his individual carefree lifestyle. He was prepared to be single for the rest of his life.

Yet deep in his heart, he knew there was a void. His recent ‘relationship,’ if you might call it one, didn’t even really start because the girl was afraid of his condition. She backed off immediately when she learnt about Jensen’s bipolar condition. All the chemistry and awesome conversations were suddenly of no importance. She just couldn’t accept that her future partner might be mentally unsound.

Jensen’s resignation was understandable, even though the rejection was crushing to his soul. All he could do was bury himself in his work. It was his only solace.

Jacinda’s fate was different from Jensen’s, although hers bore familiar déjà vu sentiments. Thrice she accepted proposal rings from three different fiancés only to cancel the wedding eventually. She found it hard to believe in relationships and marriage. When certain patterns repeat themselves constantly, you can’t help but resign to fate too.

And so the two hopeless friends had their typical hawker fares and talked about life and all its complications. As the evening drew longer, Jensen couldn’t help but feel attracted to Jacinda. It dawned on him that she shared his similar outlook on life. Jacinda also began to appreciate the presence of Jensen in her life as she coped with her disappointment and the sense of loss. The seed of friendship was about to blossom into the beautiful blooms of a love relationship.

Eventually, Jensen picked up the courage to pursue a relationship with Jacinda. To his surprise, Jacinda readily agreed. She too sensed that Jensen could indeed be her soulmate. But Jensen had one more hurdle to cross. He was still reeling from the previous rejection. He fought hard to find the courage to come clean with Jacinda about his bipolar condition.

When he finally told Jacinda, her answer made him cry. “I accept you for who you are, we’ll work at handling this condition together.” Sweet relief and joy washed his battered soul.

It was no surprise then that Jensen planned something outrageous the following month, after only getting together for barely two months. On Good Friday, he conjured up a theatrical proposal that shocked Jacinda. Too shocked for words but truly believing that she’s found her true love, Jacinda agreed.

Jacinda was elated and thrilled that her hope of getting married before she turned 30 was finally coming to pass. Yet the same déjà vu feeling returned to haunt her. What if things don’t work out again? What if this was all happening too fast? Her assurance wasn’t too far in coming.

Almost immediately, without succumbing to the need to book a ballroom or a restaurant, Jensen proposed the idea of just getting married with only their parents in attendance. Breaking with the tradition of most weddings in Singapore, the couple chose a simple outdoor venue and had the pastor officiate their union in front of their parents and numerous onlookers. There was no wedding package, no wedding shoot (yet) and no fanciful gowns or suits. Just two hearts ready to unite for a lifelong commitment, two teddy bears to bear the rings, two customized rings and one eternal vow.

It wasn’t even a case of being financially able or unable to cope with the expenses. It was simply their unquenchable desires to be married to a treasure that they both had found.

And so the story of this couple getting married spanned over just 3 months from getting together to proposal and marriage. Life has never been more wonderful for both of them, as they find true acceptance, life long companionship and a gift that both believe God has blessed them.

They humbly admit that no one knows the mysterious timing of God and how things work together for those who love Him. They only know for sure that they have what it takes to last a lifetime in marriage because of their willingness to communicate and understand each other.

And now that they are expecting a third addition to the family, they can’t wait to hold this awesome gift of God in their arms when he/she is born!

Note: It’s the wish of the author and his wife to remain anonymous. The names have been replaced with fictitious names.

As the clock struck 10, the melodious music began. He held my hands. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face. When he held me closer to him, I looked into his eyes, his huge beautiful eyes. My heart started pounding faster and faster. Before I realised it, he guided me in dancing so passionately that I soon forget the fear of accidentally stepping on his feet. The ballroom is cosy and large and in there, there are only the two of us. Doesn’t that sound romantic? Yes! That was my ideal first date when I was young.

It is amazing that time flies. In the blink of an eye, I was already a teenager and I met him. I met this guy at a friend’s birthday chalet at East Coast. We happened to be in the same school, attending the same lecture, but had never met before. I began to fall for him not long after I got to know him better and he felt the same way too. Though it was some time back, I still remember our first date, on Valentine’s Day.

It happened to fall on the one-week school vacation. It was time for me to wake up when the sun shone brightly at eight in the morning. It was a surprise to see his sweet message the moment I woke up. It was another surprise that he appeared at my door-step with a huge bouquet of Ferraro Roche chocolates, and a huge teddy bear. I was really stunned at that moment.

After we had our late breakfast, he brought me East Coast. Scrolling along the sandy beach under the bright sun with the waves on our feet, he directed me back to the spot where we had our BBQ.  It was so nicely done up, with a mat, some baskets of food, and a guitar. We sat on the mat under the shade, the surroundings was quiet and peaceful. We sat so close to each other that I could feel his breath and his heartbeat.

He took his guitar from his side, and began to play and sing. It was really a big surprise for me. I didn’t know that he could play the guitar and sing so well. I seemed to melt in his euphonious voice. I wished that the clock would just stop ticking at that moment.

In the presence of the beautiful sunset, he said to me “I want our first date to be a really special and memorable one. I took six months to complete this song, from the day I knew you. I know you love listening to songs accompanied with guitar. I hope you will like it.” Looking into his charming eyes, I was so touched that my eyes are filled with tears of joy. Never did it come across my mind that I will be able to hear someone I like to sing and play the guitar for me.

Though things didn’t happen exactly how we wanted it to be, the first Valentine’s Day will always be the sweetest and most memorable one.

This story began in year 2006 when I just graduated from high school and started working in a local bank in Singapore. One day while out for lunch, I saw a small group of people walking towards the building I was working in. I thought they must be bank colleagues, as I could see their lanyards and they had just returned from lunch.  In the group, one of the girls caught my eyes. I have never seen her before, but was attracted by her beauty! She had straight long black hair just like the ancient Egypt princess with her fringe just above her eyes. And yes, her eyes are beautifully black and big. Well, she did not notice that I was looking at her all along; I have done that very well. Ha!

But she was really so beautiful that I just can’t take my eyes off her. And I will always remember it was along the bridge at North Bridge Road where I first saw this girl who I already fell in love at first sight! I wish I knew her. As days went by, I would sometimes cross the road with the same girl while walking towards the office in the morning. Always I would intentionally walk slower than the girl so that I could see her from behind. Well that was normal right! Any guys will try to walk near to someone he likes. But still I did not know her name. The only thing I knew about her is that she worked on the 5th floor above me while I worked on the 2nd floor. It seemed to be a habit whenever I go to work, out for lunch or after work, I will look out for this girl, hoping to bump into her. I would wish that the lift or train would stop whenever we shared the same lift or train. I did not have the courage to approach her to know her, even asking for her name, as I thought such a beautiful girl, she must have a boyfriend already.

Knowing by her name

Months passed… Dec 2006. My office was shifting to a new location. I was disappointed. That meant I could no longer see the girl who I have liked for a few months. While chatting with my colleagues, I told them that there was this really beautiful girl working in this building. And it wasn’t hard for them to guess who she was, for such a beautiful girl will be noticed by almost anyone. For the first time I got to know her name. She is called Janet! It’s a common name, but to me, falling in love with her was to like everything about her, including her name! The best thing is I got her number through one of them!

Jan 2007… I have shifted to a new office. We exchanged a few sms, we introduced ourselves but never really met face to face. I tried to ask her out but was rejected by her. I could still remember what she said. She told me that she was preparing for her exam and had no time. Excuses, I thought. Well maybe she really did have a boyfriend.

Jan 2008. A year had passed, we hardly contacted each other, but she was always on my mind. This month, moved to my office and was seated very near me and I could see her every day! Some of her colleagues knew that I had secretly liked her and have warned me that she was a very religious Christian. Well, I was not a religious person and I can accept that.

The first move

Sep 2008. News of her leaving the bank soon came to me.

Sep 12th. I finally picked up my courage to ask her out for a dinner.

Sep 14th. Our first date at Suntec. This is the first time I spoke to her in person.

And after that for every 2 to 3 days, I will always ask her out for dinner or movie. We got along very well. She was a nice girl and I thought I have the chance of getting her to be my girlfriend. I would keep every receipt that we had for meals, every movie that we had watched the tickets were still with me. I could still remember our 1st movie and the last, place we had been to. The 1st time I held her hand. Although we had just known each other, it seemed like we have known for years!

What a girl wants

Oct 2008. After going out for a while and I think Janet knew that I liked her. So one day, she told me that while she really enjoyed being with me, but she would want her future boyfriend to share the same belief as her and guide her to the ways of God. That was what Janet had prayed and promised to God. He needed to be a Christian! It must be a struggle and terrible feeling for Janet. I could feel that when we were together, she was worried about our status as she couldn’t openly tell her church friends we were dating. Inside her, she felt she was betraying her God.

This was not the first time she had told me about this problem (I was not a Christian)

Well I told her I would convert and she said she would wait for me. But at that time I didn’t really mean it. I just thought no way I was going to be a Christian. I was just playing with time and always avoided this issue. After I had promised to become a Christian in future, she invited me to her church.

My first time to church

Nov 8th 2008. I went with her to City Harvest Church for the first time. My first impression was wow… what a big church and their services were like a concert. Her cell group members were nice and friendly. I could not feel God at that time and I just went to church because she wanted me to.

I even went with her to the Asia Conference at Expo, just because I wanted to spend time with her. Honestly speaking, I was struggling too. Having been to church for a few times, but I still could not feel the presence of God! Sometimes I wanted to give up, but I really liked her and wanted her to be mine.

The end of the relationship

Dec 1st 2008. She has not called or sms me for the day. I knew something was wrong.

And when contacted her, she finally told me she could not take it any longer. She had no confidence over this relationship. She had to give up on us in order to find peace. I was not willing but to accept because I loved her and it really hurt me seeing her so troubled over our relationship.

Strangely, after our so-called break off (we had not really been a couple), I started to be a believer of Christ! I brought my own bible (I have finished reading) and now I have my own cell group in the church. You must be thinking I am doing all this because of Janet, I go to church because of her! No, I attended weekly services at Expo, while she is at Jurong West. I never get to meet her. This must be the God’s will, in order to be my God’s believer, Janet must leave me.

Knowing my Lord

Janet will never know this as she has hardened her heart to stop contacting me. I have lost time once, when I have known Janet for 3 years but only started to know her for 3 months. She never gave me enough time to prove that I can be what she wanted and when I am really a Christian now, we are not together. I do not wish to lose time now, I must start to believe in Jesus now, which I really did.  I thank God that I have known Janet. Now I thank Janet for introducting God to me! Hallelujah!

Maybe this is not considered a love story to many, but this is my true story with Janet and God.  May God bless those who are truly in love with an everlasting relationship. Amen.

Romance is in the air! It’s time for roses, chocolates, cards and balloons — every conceivable symbol and offering of love!

City News’ favorite personalities share how they celebrate Valentine’s Day:

Kong Hee

Founder/Senior Pastor, City Harvest Church

“Sun and I always celebrate Valentine’s Day in a low-cost way.  I would prepare BIG cards and spend time writing a long message on it. I do prepare different surprises from time to time. This year, Sun will be in New York and my parcel to her should arrive by Fedex on Monday.”

PHOTO: Desmond Tan

Teo Poh Heng

Song Leader/Assistant Music Director

“My wife loves Italian food and watching movies, so my plans always evolved around these. I will always try to be creative when planning for this day…”

PHOTO: Michael Chan

Derek Dunn

Executive Pastor, City Harvest Church

“We have been married for so long. Now that we have kids, our time is stretched, and therefore, quality time is essential to us. When we were younger, Valentine’s Day would be a romantic escape for us, indulging in presents and a beautiful dinner. Today, our activities on V-Day include spending quality time with each other, staying home and cooking for my wife, or going out – just the two of us.”

Nanz Chong-Komo

Author and speaker

“Larry has sent me flowers every year since we met 12 years ago. I have kept all his cards. The best gift was a getaway to Phuket, to our favorite beach. He has also given me some nice jewellery, which I enjoy.”

 

PHOTO: Gary Sim

Wu Yu Zhuang

Pastor, City Harvest Church

“My first Valentine’s Day was the most memorable… I was only 19 years old then. Bought my first bouquet of flowers for my first girlfriend who is now my wife.”

He is my best friend, my pillar and the most important person in my life; he is my boyfriend: Shi Wei. He moved me, showing his affection greatly through his actions. I remembered there were a couple of times when I was so sick, he stood by me and monitor my recovery. There was once when my tonsils were severely infected that I was not able to talk or swallow any food. Every meal was a torture. Everyday he would buy some food for me to consume, and I would eat a few mouthfuls and leave the rest of the meal untouched. My weight decreased from 52kg to about 43kg within a week or so.  Additionally, whenever it was medicine time, I would cry as the tablets made it way down my throat painfully. He made it into powder form and it tasted so bitter that my body would reject the medicines by making me puke. He would comfort and encourage me when I wanted to vomit the tablet out of my throat. And he would give me a tight hug and praise me when I was able to swallow the tablet. On another occasion, in the night time, I was having hyperventilation and fever at the same time. The ambulance was called and he rushed over to my place upon hearing that I was unwell. The medics sent me to the hospital but the ambulance can only sit one family member and so he took a cab down and stayed outside with my father through sunrise. I needed to be warded and he stayed with me, while my dad has to go back to head for work.

Yet on another occasion, when I was about to turn in, I felt the sudden urge of vomiting and I rushed to the kitchen. I text his phone to inform him and he rushed over to my place to check on me. The several times of vomiting made me really sick in the stomach and feeling weak. He was worried and rushed me to a 24hr clinic. He put up with the weird look of the cab driver when I was holding on to my stomach that was cramped from the throwing up. The doctor stated that it was the gastric cramps and gave me an injection. He held on to my hand knowing that I fear the needle-pinch. When we reached my place, I threw up yet again when I took my medicines and he held on to the plastic bag as I puked. It was 4am in the morning and my parents were getting ready to go to work. I went to sleep and he stayed with me to make sure that he was there if I needed help as no one is at home.

Other than staying with me when I was sick, he was there too when I was going through a tough time in my studies. I had so many projects that I almost wanted to quit my studies. However, he would provide me the help that I needed and gave creative suggestions. A few times he stayed late to assist me with the preparation of my projects that were due the next day. Furthermore, he knew how much I detest lizards and I have to admit that my house has quite a few lizards greeting me in the wee hours in the night. As usual, he always sends me back home in the night. One night, an hour after he went off, I wanted to shower when there was a huge lizard crawling on the floor. I freaked out and hairs were standing on its ends. I called him and he has already bathed and preparing to turn in. However, he made his way down again just to kill that lizard for me, so that I was able to go and take a shower. A few of my encounters with lizards, he will surely made his way down to chase it off or if necessary kill it (that was my preference which he did not want to.) I would say that I am bliss to have a boyfriend who is so loving, affectionate, and one that stood by me when no one does. We have been together for coming 4 years and I know we will surely walk the aisle and have a beautiful future. I love you, Sweetheart.

Chlorinated Pool Water, Raindrops, Sweat and Tears

My most romantic story tells of a relationship of a girl called Rae and myself. Interestingly, while I was planning the story, I realized that it is actually related to the theme of ‘water’. With this in mind, I decided to look our relationship from 4 distinct periods named after 4 elements mentioned in the title that have consistently appeared in it.

Chlorinated Pool Water

As a former school swimmer, I know that chlorine can do 2 things. One, it sterilizes and cleans the water we train in. Two, if you do not wash it off promptly after training, but allow it to linger, it eats away at your skin. To me, chlorine symbolizes the hammer fall of hard-hitting reality and how the pain eats away at you if you allow it to linger.

It was the Swimming School Nationals of 2005. I was slated to compete in 2 events, the 100m and 200m breaststroke. Being in JC1, I was extremely eager to prove myself and thus, I thrust headlong into every training session and sometimes, even did my own self-training. Little did I know that the constant overtraining had depleted me mentally and physically. Both my races were disasters. I was deeply disappointed as I had really trained the hardest I could. This was also the time I spent much time praying and I felt that this was truly my time to shine. In my anguish, I headed to a toilet cubicle and decided to cry out to God one last time asking him ‘why?’ endlessly. I knew I should not be angry at God but I was. I told God my spirit was broken and if he wanted me to continue walking, he MUST carry me.

That day, God sent an angel to carry me. This angel was not dressed in white, nor does she have majestic angelic wings and less of all, a halo. My angel was dressed in green and white, holding the RJC (Raffles Junior College) flag and ironically, happened to be cheering for the guy who beat me and eventually won both events.

I met Rae halfway through the event. We met online while I was searching for music and spoke on MSN. Given what I have been through, it was very tough for me at that time to express myself. Nevertheless, her ignorance of who I was and how I failed the expectations of everyone, compounded with her genuine openness slowly disarmed me. I began to talk to her over the net and share with her. Despite having Rae as a newly found friend, the bitter and traumatic experience at the Nationals continues to cripple my already bruised self esteem and hamstrung my faith in God.

Raindrops

Rain always speaks of a time of refreshing. This is especially so if you are a farmer biding your time for a harvest, the sight of cumulous clouds and the splash of the raindrops against the skin will no doubt bring unspeakable joy. That joy was what I experienced soon after I knew Rae. My interactions with her were ever so amazing. She was enlightening, entertaining and every so enigmatic. Once, I decided to ask her out for a date. (Actually it was more like my cell group leader asking her out. You see, we had a cell group outreach following Festival of Praise and since Rae was the only friend I had in that period, I called her).

Her response was modeled after her personality, ‘Boo! You know, my mother says I should not be doing this. But I think you are a nice guy, I go with you.’ That mademy day. When Rae agreed to go with me to Festival of Praise 2005, I think she seriously did not know what she actually signed up for. She perspired profusely throughout the 2 hours we were queuing and was almost bored to tears. I was so embarrassed. Nonetheless, I thought it went well as she was still conversing with sufficient enthusiasm even at the end. However, my classmates at ACJC (Anglo-Chinese Junior College) would tell you, the true test of whether a date succeeded is not what SHE says to you after you (because women can be such professional actors) but it’s whether she follows up with you the next day.

The next morning, I was waiting expectantly for that SMS, that raindrop of hope. It did not come and I resigned to my fate and went for service as usual. I turned my phone back on after service, that moment became one of utter surprise and delight when I saw ‘1 message received’. ‘Oh, I really enjoyed last night. You are funny. Anyway, Roddick won!’ That day, Andy Roddick may have been the happiest man in tennis but I knew for sure that moment, I was the happiest in the world. Our subsequent ‘dates’ were equally dubious. The classes we were in were actually rival sports classes in 2 schools. Therefore, both of classes met (with much antagonism) regularly and through these meetings, I always tried to make it into as real a date as I could. So here are those infamous ‘dates’; Waterpolo qualifying match 2006, Tennis finals 2006 and not to forget, Swimming finals 2006. The feeling I get after every time I meet Rae was just like eating a frozen chocolate brownie. The sensation just worms its way into your heart and mind, making you feel pure bliss.

Sweat

Sweat obviously exemplifies hard work. The phrase itself is probably an understatement. When I say ‘sweat’ or ‘hard work’, what you should be conjuring in your head, are images of back breaking, mentally-taxing, grueling hard work, not much different from a rice farmer. This period refers to the time after Nationals and my road to pulling myself back together.

As I had spent much time training, I neglected my schoolwork and thus left a huge backlog of homework. Moreover, the time mourning and taking self-pity did not solve the problem in any way and merely added to the backlog. Under this mammoth amount of work, relentless pressures from my teachers and my already bruised self-esteem, I would have collapsed and broken down long ago.

In spite of all these, I persevered because Rae was always supporting me from behind. Her frequent and warm SMSes never failed to encourage me and lift me up from the emotional doldrums I was in. With her support and practical help in the form of the many late-night coaching over MSN, I slowly caught up. Though I still met with numerous dead ends, I held on knowing someone believed in me. I recall the day before my History Promotional Examinations which happened to be my birthday; my teacher said I may not be able to pass. In my desperation, I came up with an 8-hour plan, boldly attempting to complete my whole year syllabus. Miraculously, I accomplished it. At this point in time, there are probably only 3 things that I can actually remember in the flurry of 8 hours, all of which begins with the letter ‘S’. Stalin, the Steak I was celebrating with, her SMSes.

Lest you think I am a parasite who keeps living off Rae, I also contributed to her life. Rae was an introverted Christian in her church near her neighbourhood. Her father objected to her faith and thus, she was not very willing to share it. Using what I learnt from my cell group, I encouraged her many times and offered to pray with her. I even shared with her the weekly sermons we have in cell group and church. Through this, I find it immeasurably rewarding to see her grow in the Lord and to wake up certain mornings and find ‘1 message received’ detailing how she too helped another believer strengthen his or her faith. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is truly hard work in action.

Tears

Everyone who trades in the stock market knows that every roaring bull run would come to an end once the depressing drudging bear comes in. However, it never ceases to amaze me to know how many people actually pretend this would never happen. I would not pass judgment on them because I am very much guilty too.

In 2007, I suffered 2 huge setbacks. The first of which was my horrible A level results. The second would be my last swim at the Nationals before I put up my suit and enlist in National Service. These were even more devastating than the ones I have suffered as a JC1. This time, I put in a lot more hard work and figured I covered all grounds and thought through everything. In addition, the expectations on me were much higher this time and I knew I really could not fail. However, I still did. I thought I could never recover from this. I decided to call Rae the next morning after the grades were released after sleeping for 16hours.

Before I get into that, I would like to say this. The worst thing that to a male, to me, is never really failing or losing, people fail all the time, though it is tough, it is hardly fatal. The worst thing to me, was messing up my grades, waking up next morning and the first thing you see is a picture of your best friend on the headlines and the next thing you read says ‘Top Student of RJC’.

I couldn’t bear to face Rae, and much less to even touch the article that details her success story despite how much I knew she deserved it. I called her the next day and I decided to share with her my grades and how depressed I feel. If you realized, Rae’s humour is always a little peculiar. Instead of giving me the usual ‘I still love you’ speech, she quoted from a song, “Umbrella” by Rihanna.

When the sun shine

We’ll shine together

Told you I’ll be here forever

Said I’ll always be your friend

Took an oath imma stick it out ’till the end

Now that it’s raining more than ever

Know that we still have each other

You can stand under my umbrella

You can stand under my umbrella

Upon hearing that, I broke down and cried.

I enlisted soon after. I texted her every time I booked in and booked out. Looking at the people around me just crumble under the pressure and knowing that with every passing day, it gets tougher, stricter and much more demanding, I realize I could find my anchor in God and Rae. Her support during this time was very much appreciated and I kept telling her so.

My bull run was just slowly beginning to take off when the time came for Rae to depart to the States for her studies. Just like the people who pretend that the stock market boom will last forever, I pretended and kept ignoring the day which she was leaving. But I can always vividly recall the last night. On that last Sunday night, it felt just too painful to say goodbye. As I packed my bag to get ready to book in, feeling the reality of the situation and I realized that we would not see or talk to each other for a long time. We ended up staying online as long as we could so as to prolong our time together. The logging out of MSN that night was nothing short of heart-wrenching.

Conclusion

There are many things I did not realize then. But as I look back now, I see God’s hand moving through Rae all this while. She helped to instill in me compassion and sensitivity for others, to inspire me to fulfill my dreams and most importantly, to always look to God in times of tribulation and impossible circumstances. When I asked God to carry me that day in the toilet cubicle, I did not know God has already made bigger and better plans for me.